When dementia strikes, it affects not only your parent but everybody around her, especially those who are the closest - his family. This is also the situation where how you take care of yourself will determine the way you care for your parent.
If you are living together with a parent suffering from dementia, the psychological state you are in will always have a bearing on her mental state. When you are irritable and angry, she will feel it and may become even more confused, disoriented, and anxious. If, however, you try to be calm and collected, this attitude will reflect on your parent and make her more capable and composed.
This means that even spending most of your free time caring for your parent, you should never forget about yourself and your own needs.
As hard as it may be, you need to accept the reality of the situation. At this time there exists no cure for dementia. Therefore, once your parent is diagnosed with it, the quality of his life can never go back to normal again. She will not be able to remember tomorrow what she could not recall yesterday. Reconciling yourself with the facts is the only way to move forward and appreciate what you still have.
Never forget that it is not your parent who is trying to frustrate you by not being able to control her behavior, but the disease that has taken over her.
Try to get into your parent's head and experience the frustration she must be living with on a continuous basis. Even getting dressed in the morning is an extremely complicated task now. She cannot remember what to do next and why she is doing it in the first place. Showing your frustration will only make her even more agitated and confused.
Realize that logic as we know it does not exist anymore. Your parent is living in a world of her own where you put your underwear on your head, instead of where it belongs. If you attempt to reason with her you will be wasting your time and energy. Don't even try. Instead, just take it away from her and next time, help her get dressed yourself.
Try to avoid angry outburst in your parent's presence. Granted, it is easier said than done when you come home and discover your mail torn into shreds or detergent spilled all over the kitchen floor. However, if you feel like you cannot control yourself, it's best to go scream in another room and come back when you have cooled off. Your parent will not understand the source of your frustration anyway. It will just make her even more miserable. And you will end up hating yourself for such outbursts. The only positive thing here is that when you do lose your temper, and you will, your parent will not remember a thing about it next time he sees you.
Do not give up on your sense of humor and enjoy the lighter moments as much as you can. There is nothing to be ashamed of when you share a laugh with your sister or brother about that time when your mom tried to comb his hair with a tooth brush.
